Being a single parent is one of the hardest jobs out there. Whether you are doing it all on your own or have an absent spouse/partner in the military, etc. you carry the weight of responsibility for your children. Most people know that it’s smart to have a Will. For single parents, the most important aspect of the Will is that you use it to formally name a guardian for your kids – the person you would want your kids (under 18yrs) to go to if /when you die. Naming a guardian is critical. If you don’t name someone in your will, then the Court will choose your kids’ new family for you.
However, there are three other documents that you want to have in place if you are a single parent.
- Medical Power of Attorney (or Advance Healthcare Directive) for yourself. If you get sick or injured and cannot make medical decisions for yourself, who will do it for you? You need to have a document on hand that will give someone else the authority to implement your healthcare choices if you are physically or mentally unable to do it. This document only goes into effect if you cannot make a choice for yourself. For example, if you are in surgery under anesthesia, and there is a complication, a doctor might need someone else to authorize an additional procedure. You would not be able to do it, so the doctor would discuss it with the person you have named on your Medical Power of Attorney or Advance Healthcare Directive. These days, many hospitals and doctors will ask for these forms before admitting you as a patient. This kind of document is important for your own health, but it also relieves a burden from your children as they know, completely, that there is someone else there who is responsible for taking care of you. If your children are over 18, you may consider naming them as the ones who could make medical decisions for you. There are pros and cons to this, of course. Chances are, your kids know you best and love you and would choose the best standards of care. However, it is a lot of pressure and responsibility for a child, no matter how old they are, to decide whether their parent should live or die. But no matter who you choose, choose someone. You can download an Advance Healthcare Directive for free here. Select your state, download the form, and fill it out. Make several copies and give a copy to your doctor and the person(s) you have named on the form.
- Child Medical Consent Form. If you are sick or injured and your children need medical attention, who will authorize their care? If you have been hospitalized for pneumonia, you may assume that whoever your kids are staying with will automatically be able to take them to the doctor, but it’s not true! A doctor would be able to give your child emergency care, if necessary, but anything else requires parental or guardian authorization. As a single parent, you need to have a document on-hand that allows someone else to make medical decisions for your child if you cannot do it yourself. This document is critical if you travel or have a job where you cannot always be easily reached by your child’s caregiver. You can download a Child Medical Consent Form here. Complete the form, and make copies for your child’s doctor(s) and the person you named on the form. You will need to complete a form for each child.
- Durable Financial Power of Attorney. If you are sick or injured and cannot make financial decisions or actions, who will do it for you? This aspect of life can easily be overlooked when your health is on the line. But, you want someone else to have the power and authority to pay your bills, sign financially-binding documents on your behalf, and make purchases or payments for you or your family as needed. A Durable Financial Power of Attorney will not come into effect unless you specifically give the person that authority (for ex. if you are going into a rehab facility or undergoing major surgery) or unless a doctor says that you are incapable of making those decisions yourself. You can set specific limits, but, generally, the person who holds the Financial Power of Attorney can access your bank accounts, make payments or purchases for you, contact creditors on your behalf, buy/sell properties for you, and negotiate on your behalf. I know it can sound scary to potentially give all of this power to someone else, but the law does watch out for you. The person holding a Financial Power of Attorney is limited to what YOU say they can do, as written in the Power of Attorney document, so read that document carefully. The person you name is also what we call a “Fiduciary” which means that they have a legal duty to act in your best interest and only to do those things that you would do if you were able to do them. So, if the person you name goes out and sells your car for no good reason, they can be held responsible for mishandling your property and will have to compensate you for their irresponsibility and the loss of your car. The way to get around this, of course, is to name the person you trust the most. If you don’t have anyone you trust that much, you can typically ask your bank or an investment firm to act in this role. Most banks have a department that will serve as the agent for a Financial Power of Attorney for a flat-fee. Once you get well, you can “revoke” the Power of Attorney and that person will no longer have the ability to make financial decisions or acts for you.
****All of these forms should be signed in the presence of a notary public. (Don’t sign them until you contact a notary!) The easiest thing to do these days is to call up your bank and make an appointment to meet with the notary public there. Alternatively, you could check with your local UPS/Fedex stores, an attorney’s office, or post on your community’s local Facebook page to see if there are any “traveling” notaries in your area.
Especially in this time of CoVid-19 and entering flu season, it’s so important to have all the documents in place to take care of yourself and your kids. Hopefully you will never need them, but at least they’ll be there if you do!
To learn more about making a will and understanding it, and other estate planning tools, check out our Wills 101 course.
